Last week, I said I’d given up on beer and moved onto hard liquor. In pursuit of high proof beverages, and quicker effect, I imbibe Vodka.Vodka leads to one of two things. A gateway to a good night with friends, or an absolute blackout nightmare, filled with violence and paranoia. You can bet that rusty Plymouth Duster of yours on this: When Dr. Jekyll created his potion that turned him from man to monster, it contained more than a little Vodka. My friends, Vodka = Violent.
Your Humble Author has seen the most rational, good-natured individuals turn into raving violent lunatics within the grips of a Vodka binge. In truth, I’ve become Mr. Hyde on more than one occasion after too much of the stuff. I recall one night after way too many Vodka Tonics. I’d blacked out. I tried to start a few fights, one with a forty something year old man, another with a group of twenty-somethings. I do not remember this. This is secondhand info. But I do remember waking to a terrible hangover and torn apart room. Still wearing all of my clothes, down to my bright red Chucks, I asked myself, “How the hell did I get here? What did I do last night?”
All scariness aside, Vodka is a potent, clean drink. Void of impurities, it’s made with neutral grain spirits (corn or wheat) or potatoes, distilling the brew, and filtering it through charcoal. Traditionally unflavored, Vodka is “tasteless”. It’s great with nearly anything due to its neutrality – Vodka and OJ, Vodka Tonics, Vodka Martinis. You name the mixer and Vodka goes with it.
Now, the Polish and the Russians argue over who invented Vodka first. But, I say Russia. The first documented production of Vodka is in the 9th century, while the first documented distillation is recorded in the year 1174, both in Russia. So Russia it is.
For those keeping track at home, Vodka is at least 600 years older than Gin. In truth, Gin is merely high-proof juniper flavored Vodka. Most Gins are 94 proof, or 47 percent alcohol by volume. Most Vodkas are 80 proof, though there are 100 proof Vodkas, most notably one made by Absolut.
In the beginning, Vodka was used for medicinal purposes. What they planned to treat with Vodka is uncertain. It is certain, however, that it didn’t survive as a medicine for long.
In the 14th century, the British ambassador to Moscow called Vodka the Russian national beverage. Everyone in the country drank it.
Unsurprisingly, this became a problem for the Russians. They were drinking Vodka too heavily, abusing it. So, as in Britain with Gin, the Russians attempted to control the production of vodka.
At first, these attempts proved unsuccessful. They tried to allow only nobles to distill vodka. But, like moonshiners in the US, backwoods folk found ways around the law. Low quality, high alcohol content brews ruled the day.
It wasn’t until the 19th century that all Russian state distilleries adopted the same practices and the name “Vodka” became officially recognized.
When the Bolsheviks took over, they recognized the economic viability of Vodka. So, they seized all Vodka distilleries in Russia and made production a state affair.
A few distillery owners managed to escape Russia and open distilleries in other countries. Smirnoff is one of these notable distillers.
Vodkas today have taken over the spirit market. Distillers are pushing nearly every flavor imaginable onto liquor store shelves. This has lead to the inception of a nearly unfathomable amount of Vodka cocktails. Flavoring Vodka isn’t a new art, however. It’s been done ever since its creation.
Grey Goose is excellent, expensive vodka. It’s a French product, and due to the expense I don’t recommend it for anyone but the most discriminative vodka drinker. This individual should drink it neat or on the rocks.
Absolut, a Swedish brand with a distinctive bottle and successful advertising campaign, is of lesser expense and quality. Ketel One Vodka, a product of Holland dating back to 1691, is a great, pure drink. It is less expensive than Grey Goose, and I recommend it over Absolut. Use either of these for Vodka tonics or cocktails.
But, my highest recommendation goes to the Stolichnaya brand. I asked a discriminating Vodka drinking friend of mine, a Bulgarian I worked with over the summer, which Vodka was the best. He said Stoli. And, in Bulgaria, he has access to quite a few different brands of Vodka, so I take his Stoli nod seriously.
Stoli makes many different flavors, from Razberi and Citros, to Vanil and Ohranj. It’s more expensive than Absolut, yet cheaper than Ketel One. And it’s from Russia, Vodka’s homeland.
Toss a bottle of Stoli in the freezer and you’ll be ready for a crisp, cold drink at any time. Drink it neat, on the rocks, with tonic or in cocktails. It’s the utility man of the Vodka world.
I’ve provided a few recipes for Vodka drinks. The best part about Vodka is how forgiving and mixable it is. It’s really hard to mess up a Vodka drink, and it’s very easy to invent “new” cocktails. Experimentation, my readers, is key.
White Russian
Or, as “The Dude” liked to call it in “The Big Lebowski”: the Caucasian.
2 oz. vodka 1 oz. coffee brandy (Kahlua is a popular brand) 1 oz. half and half, or milk if none is available Pour the ingredients into an iced glass. Shake and drink.Chocolate Martini
There are millions of variations on this cocktail.
2 oz. Stoli Vanil Vodka ¾ oz. Godiva Chocalate Liquor ¼ oz. Crème de Cacao Pour the ingredients into an iced mixing glass. Shake. Strain into a cocktail glass and drink. Garnish with shaved chocolate, if you’ve got that laying around.Sour Appletini
Another cocktail with a ton of variations.
2 oz. vodka (Some companies make sour apple vodka. You can also use citrus vodka. 1 oz. Sour Apple Pucker Pour the ingredients into an iced mixing glass and shake. Strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with a maraschino cherry.
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